Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Many times we have used this verse as an excuse not to correct our children. I am convinced that this is not what the scripture is talking about at all. It is talking about the abuse and violence that leaves a child angry and resentful for the rest of his or her life. This is the abuse that we want to talk about tonight.
The five areas of abuse are: physical, emotional, sexual, verbal and mental. Of these five areas, more demonization occurs from sexual abuse than all of the other four put together.
The Family Research Council in Washington, DC, which is a family oriented Christian organization, recently published an article about a survey that was taken in our churches. According to this article, roughly 40% of the people in our churches were sexually molested before the age of 17. Outside of the church, this figure is about 17%. This tells us that hurting people are coming into our churches seeking help. If we don’t help them, they will turn to drugs or alcohol or the occult for help. Almost one-half of the people reading this were molested or sexually abused as a child. When someone is abused in one of these five areas, spiritual scar tissue develops. This scar tissue becomes a point of aggravation in their lives from that time on.
Therapists, psychologists and counselors can get to the issues, but most of them can’t get to the demons that came through these issues. Some times it takes all three working together with the exorcist to get to the issues.
Many people in our churches are struggling with things that they just can’t seem to get the victory over. No matter what they do, they can’t get victory over it. They have come to a wall in their Christian life that they just can’t break through. They have been to doctors & psychiatrist. Some have been in mental hospitals, and its still there. Some have been to every evangelist that comes around. What do they do? This thing just keeps plaguing them. Nobody can get to the bottom of it. Sometimes it takes a therapist and an exorcist working together to get to the bottom of it.
Many times, but not always, this thing took place before they were old enough to remember it. They can’t vocalize what happened to them. They just know that
something has caused problems all of their life.
Sexual abuse is the ultimate violation of the person. Considering all five- mental, emotional, physical, verbal and sexual abuse- sexual abuse causes more demonization than all the others combined. The sexual part of you is ultimately who you are as a person. We are talking about the gender identity that came as a result of God’s stamp on your life of his image. That’s a very sacred thing. This is why homosexuality is such a detestable sin in God’s eyes. Homosexuality is the ultimate blasphemy. It strikes at the very core of the nature of who God is. Romans, chapter 1 says “they changed truth into a lie”. Homosexuals are mixed up in terms of who God made them to be.
When sexual violation takes place, it’s the ultimate insult that will create more spiritual scar tissue than anything else that you suffer. When you are violated sexually, you are victimized, you are horrified, you are traumatized. That’s a three step process that occurs that leads to the bondage. You first are victimized. The sense of helplessness that a five year old would feel at that point creates the anger and rage that we deal with later in life. There is no way to get away from the abuse. A five year old can’t run away from home. Many times they are threatened with violence to keep them from telling anyone. There is nothing they can do to stop it. There is no escape. Many times they retreat into a fantasy world, or a part of their personality will split off to cope with the pain. This is known as MPD, Multiple Personality Disorder. This is where a part of them splits off to cope with the trauma, so that the child can go on living somewhat of a normal life. Some of you have buried your hurt this way. What I am talking about is describing your life. The children invariably grow up thinking that they are guilty. They think that something they did caused daddy to commit the act of incest. They carry the shame of it for the rest of their lives. Let me tell you, you are not guilty, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Someone did these things to you. You are not guilty!
When these things happen to children, it’s a sense of “how could this happen”? “It’s not right”, “Daddies don’t do things like that”, “Men shouldn’t be like that”, “Women don’t act that way”, “Mommies should protect their children”. These are the very thoughts that have coursed through the minds of some of you. You have thought these things over and over again. “Mommies protect their children”, “Mommy, why aren’t you here”, “Why can’t you see what is going on?”.
Now 30 years later you are carrying the spiritual scar tissue.
You have to accept the fact that daddy was not a good daddy. He was a bad daddy. Many times this results in MPD. Then the child identity must be persuaded to help with the deliverance. Once the demons that hide behind the child identities can be dealt with, the children inside can understand that “my daddy was a bad daddy” and they can reject the guilt that has been on them all these years and forgive and be free.
Also the sexual violation brought about a curse of incest that has to be broken. Men or women who are sexually abused as a child usually end up in an adulterous affair 30 or 40 years later.You were spiritually placed in that position by your father’s or mother’s incest and the curse that resulted from it. Once again you can say, “it just isn’t fair”, “a child was violated and they get the curse, they get the demon?”. You must quickly learn this principle– Satan does not play fair. He will take every unfair advantage to gain a foothold in our lives.
Now, let’s move on to the cure for all of this. We have treated forgiveness as some form of amnesic denial. We assume automatically that God forgives us when we confess our sins, and He does. But then we must close the demonic doors that were opened many years ago in our lives. We must make a distinction between redemption and spiritual warfare. When you confess your sins, it’s over with in the eyes of God, but not necessarily in the demonic realm. It’s not necessarily over in the terms of demonic access to your life. Repenting and being forgiven of something many times is not the same as slamming the door in the devil’s face and sealing it with the blood of Jesus to make sure he can never open it again.
What are the things that come from sexual abuse? What are the mental, psychological, & emotional processes that occur as a result? We can call it the three R’s: Rage, Revenge and Retaliation. Rage is the release. “These things just cannot happen”. “Daddy’s don’t do things like this to daughters”. It brings a terrible sense of injustice. “Men don’t do these things to women”. “Mothers don’t do things like this to children”.
This so violates the natural laws of the universe that you can’t deal with it. This violation is so severe that the only emotional refuge is rage. This is the only place the soul can go to. It may not want to go there, it just goes there. The anger just comes out!
Then out of the injustice is the sense of incapacitation. You can’t do a thing! Usually the victim is a small child, or a person who is dominated by another and afraid to do anything. You can’t strike back. You can’t do anything. So what do you do? You stuff it! You bottle it up. You stuff it way down inside and you seal it there. It just sits there. The older you get, it just gets tighter and tighter and tighter and it goes down deeper and deeper and deeper and pretty soon, you don’t even realize it’s there. That’s when it gets dangerous. That’s when you think that you have dealt with it. You think it’s over. You think about it and you say “well, praise God it’s all in the past”. “I won’t have to deal with that anymore”. “Why, it’s so far gone I can hardly remember it”. “I don’t even remember what happened”. Oh, yes you do, a part of you does. It may be a disassociate part, but a part of you remembers. It may be hidden behind alter personalities or demons or both. The dangerous part comes when you don’t know it’s there anymore. You just have problems, but don’t know why. I assure you, it’s still there if you haven’t had deliverance from it. And the devil knows it’s there! He will sit there dormant for years biding his time – waiting for you to mess up so he can take over. Eventually it moves out to the point of revenge. Revenge is when you reach a point that you feel that you have complete vindication in having the emotional feelings that you have toward someone. Revenge is the state of vindication. “I have every right to feel the way I do”. Biblical blame must be placed. I must decide who is to blame. Then I must forgive. Forgiveness will stop the retaliation that would come next. If you do not get spiritual help, you are destined for some act of violence. Many times it is not directed at the person that hurt you. It’s directed at your spouse or your children and you began to abuse them like you were abused.
Now, how to get off the road of rage, revenge and retaliation. It starts with genuine forgiveness. There can be no pardon without a guilty verdict. Place the blame for the abuse. “They” did this to me. I am not guilty. Mommy or daddy was not a good mommy or daddy. They did it. I am not guilty. It was done to you, but you pay the price. You get the demon.
Read what Jesus taught his disciples about forgiveness in Matthew 6:12-15
And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.
For if you forgive men for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
But if you do not forgive men, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.
The above teaching was delivered in one of our deliverance services. Some of the teaching materials came from Bob Larson Ministries in Denver, CO.